.png)
.jpg)
.jpg)
My Burnout Story
I am a highly ambitious, Type A, driven professional who always made it happen. On paper, life looked perfect. In secret, I was stuck in a cycle of anxiety, depression, perfectionism, overachievement and self-neglect.
The first time my body broke was in 2018. For six weeks I was bedridden, questioning if I’d ever be well again. I found a doctor who could treat me and in our treatment discussion, he said unless I made changes, stress would continue to wreak havoc on my systems. I had no idea what was in store.
Just a month earlier, I was pushing myself to earn a company paid trip. I had the opportunity to earn them by exceeding expectations. Anything else would be failing. While the expectations grew greater and the goal post continued to move, falling short was never an option. I earned that trip but we never got on the plane. Just one week before we were set to leave, I was hospitalized. The physical pain was enough to scream yet the only thing I could think about was how to earn the next trip.
As the medicine kicked in, I got better. And, feeling better, I had a new plan. The plan completely ignored the doctor’s warning. It was simple: work harder, start the day earlier, end the day later, and move faster. At what cost? I never asked.
The plan was working. I was achieving and excelling.
But, how would I possibly keep it up? I’d taken the advice of “You’re only as good as your last conversation,” to heart and it echoed in my mind. Be better. Do more. Bring value. Never stop. Not enough. Not enough. Not enough.
A post-it note on my desk said “Do One More” and there was always one more to do. Of anything. Of everything. And, so, I did. Again and again.
Burnout was waiting for me. She just wasn’t ready to erupt yet. In 2021, I experienced a devastating workplace event that left me traumatized. The event stung, but the fall out was much more damaging. It was confusing, gutting, and shocking, but it didn’t slow me down. If anything, I felt that now I really had something to prove.
Meanwhile my belief systems were shaken and I was losing myself. I was afraid of who I was becoming but I became highly skilled at masking. My survival tool that got me through every role I had in my life. Masking became my life.
Masking for the world, riddled with shame, and feeling alone, the panic grew. With the support of a compassionate medical team and a strong support system, my recovery journey began. This journey led me to finally accept my doctor’s message which was “I prescribe a new career.”
In recovery, I finally began to understand the impact of my chronic stress cycle. For two years, I rarely slept for more than four hours. Waking up at 2am with a heart rate of 165 became my normal. I had no idea the physical pain, unregulated nervous system and racing mind had led me to burnout and an anxiety disorder and panic disorder.
Today, I am a corporate refugee. For the first time in years I feel safe in my body. I honor her for protecting me for so long. I will never allow anyone, any metric or any outdated rulebook define my worth.
I found an incredible doctor. I found an incredible Somatic Therapist. I found an incredible support system. It has not been linear or without pain. And, it’s been slow. My therapist, Heather, told me “if it feels slow, it is.”
This work has changed everything. I have coping skills for flashbacks and triggers, a regulated nervous system, and I am actively realigning with my values as I tear down belief systems that silently harmed me for so long.
Today, I am healthy and free. I am living life in and on purpose. I've answered the call.
If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone. What if we could change that, together?
Proud of us.
All of us.
Book your FREE 60 minute Clarity Call